I am an angry feminist
Generally speaking, I try to keep my writing here positive, lighthearted and sometimes a bit esoteric. I don’t like to rock the boat too much, mainly because I dislike arguments and even more than that, I hate internet arguments. At the moment though, I’ve had it up to here with keeping quiet and subdued.
I am a feminist. I wear cardigans. I figured I should just come out and say that. I think more people should come out and say that. While I can remember a time when I might have been nervous about admitting this, nervous about the connotations, I now realize that it is vitally important to claim this title. People are so afraid of this word, afraid of the box it puts them in. This is why I urge you to recognize your own inner feminist, if for some reason you have not already. Caitlin Moran said it best, and I’m paraphrasing here, that if you have a vagina and want to be in charge of it, you are a feminist. Granted, you can also not have a vagina and be a feminist, but for the sake of you ladies that are too afraid to get with the program here, let’s simplify things.
What are the connotations here? It means I care about laws that are passed about women’s health. It means I care about the stories that are told about women, or not told for that matter. It means I care about equal pay and opportunities for women. And because I’m paying attention, because these things matter to me, it means I’m keenly aware of the cultural subtexts that are going on day in and day out about what women are capable of. It means I get angry.
I am an angry feminist. I get angry a lot. This is what happens when others are constantly trying to define you as lesser, repeatedly trying to take away your human rights and perpetuating a culture of male dominance. You have the choice to get angry or risk beginning to believe these lies. I know when I was younger I definitely fell victim to this. Now, every time I hear “women are crazy” a little flame of rage ignites in me. When professional women are defined by their diets and whether they plan to stay home with the kids, how can you not be immeasurably frustrated?
Every day there is something. But I will not let my soul be bled to death by a thousand tiny pin pricks. I’m thankful for this anger, this reminder that there are still bridges to cross and progress to be made. It is a reminder that I haven’t given up, that I haven’t settled with “that’s just the way it is.” This anger gives me power.
Occasionally, all of this is a nuisance. Sometimes I wish I could just watch a movie without taking into account the blatant misogyny. Sometimes I wish I could tune out so many dim-witted comments. In the age of the internet opinion, there are so many stupid comments. But who would I be then? It might be more comfortable in a haze of ignorant bliss but it certainly does me no good in the long run.
The only way out of this mess is for us to join together, for all of us to come out from this fog and defeat that which plagues us, men and women alike. Here is your chance to come into the light. I hope you’ll join me.
Photo courtesy of the Los Angeles Area Chamber of Commerce Collection, USC Libraries. To see more photos from early Los Angeles, go here.
I could not agree more. I recently had an incident with a woman I interned for. She made a comment to me that if I wanted to be taken seriously, I had to wear heels. Period. I had always admired her for being what I thought was a strong, forward thinking woman and to hear here say that made me confused and angry. I just couldn’t find any sense in it. Whether or not I put an instrument on my foot to make me taller and ‘appear slimmer’ should have nothing to do with how seriously I am taken at my job. I try to let the anger fuel me for good but there are days when it’s overwhelming and I just want to go on a rampage.
It is often overwhelming. I think a lot of people overlook this. Being able to commiserate with like minded people helps immensely though.
p.s. Screw heels, unless you want to wear them, in which case, do as you please.
This is great! I really needed this this morning. Thank you!
Isn’t a feminist just someone who believes in equality for women? In this day and age shouldn’t that be everybody? What is so crazy about that? I hate the stigma that comes with the word.
yes let’s banish the stigma. no need for it anymore. it should be everyone.
thank you for writing this! i could not agree more.
Thank you thank you for writing this! I’ve been trying to put into words how I’ve been feeling lately, especially in light of all the Stubenville madness, and this is summing it up quite well.
“Do you believe in equal pay for equal work? Then you are a feminist.” — My sister, who is very good at distilling things.
Jade, your boss’ heels comment is infuriating.
THANK YOU for this! My sister was telling me the other day how she always thought of me as “a feminist” because I’m so independent, and I had to point out to her that you can be anything- married with tons of kids, a single mom, divorced, widowed, etc… and still be a feminist.
I am a feminist. Thank you Alix.
No heels, no problem.
Thank you for sharing this Alix. Perfectly said.
It boggles the mind that so many women shun the word feminist. All my friends know I’m a feminist, but when I get to talking with them and find out they don’t self identify, I’m so confused. So we talk about the root of the term and what it means at a basic level, and slowly I see the light bulbs going on that they are feminists too. It’s amazing that conservatives have made so many women fear that word and stand up for their own rights.
OH I AM WITH YOU, (wo)MAN.
Lately I haven’t been able to read much in the realm of feminism/womens’ rights/cultural B.S. I guess in the wake of Steubenville and other news items, I just can’t handle feeling any more anger or helplessness. But this. This was so excellently written. You capture exactly my feelings. Thank you.