One week of VeganMoFo and graham crackers

Dear Alton Brown,

You have let me down. I hate to say it but it’s true. I have always loved your clever mix of science and culinary adventures. I love learning the history of carrots and the chemistry of preserves. I guess graham crackers just aren’t your thing though. I followed your recipe with as much accuracy as possible. Do you know how difficult it is to measure 3/8 oz of graham flour? It’s not easy. I diligently followed your instructions but things just weren’t adding up. When my dough should have been forming a ball, it was still a slushy paste. I gave in and added a bit more flour. Instead of getting closer to this ball of dough you promised, my food processor started to smoke. Moving on. Soon enough my apartment smelled of baking cinnamon and I thought all was not lost. Right as the timer went off I opened the oven to discover…

…my graham crackers burnt to a crisp. How could you lead me so astray? I put my faith in your exactness and I expect simple perfection in return.  Is that too much to ask? Apparently it is. Next time, I’ll trust my graham recipe needs to the vegan bloggers.



14 Responses to “One week of VeganMoFo and graham crackers”
  1. sophia says:

    aw, that’s sad. props to you for even trying to make graham crackers. i’ve considered it but laziness always wins out.

  2. Micco says:

    Perhaps you were supposed to measure it on a scale instead of with a cup..? Maybe look for the original episode on youtube if you haven’t watched it!

    I am also a big Alton Brown fan, and while 99% of the time his recipes rule, I’ve encountered epic fails from time to time, too.

  3. Alton Brown you jerk! How could he do this to you? Sometimes I love the guy and other times he bugs me….right now I’m grumpy because I really wanted to see some delicious homemade graham crackers!

    • miss alix says:

      i really wanted to eat some graham crackers! well, ok i admit, i did eat the not so burnt ones and they were ok. i will not give up though, i’m too fed up with not having vegan graham crackers to let one failure stand in my way.

  4. Lisa Marie says:

    Awww I’m sorry your graham crackers didn’t turn out the way they were supposed to. I know how much that sucks. It’s happened to me quite a bit. 🙁

    • miss alix says:

      graham crackers seem so simple but it looks like a lot of people have major difficulty making them. must find simple vegan recipe!

  5. rhubarbsky says:

    Hmmmm, What a bummer!
    Alton has never led me astray.
    Did you put in 8 and 3/8 oz. graham flour (that’s what the recipe calls for)? or just 3/8 oz. ?
    Anyway, who the heck actually weighs flour anyway? I wonder why he doesn’t just give cups!

    The recipe I use ( could be made vegan by using margarine and subbing agave for the honey. Don’t give up. Homemade graham crackers are super tasty.

    • miss alix says:

      Oh I definitely put in 8 3/8 oz graham flour. I’m not going to give up! Your recipe looks easy (and easy to veganize) so maybe I’ll give it a shot. I have a few ideas to try too. Stay tuned…

  6. Mo says:

    Do you have an oven thermometer? I never used one until last year I think. Most ovens aren’t the temp they say. My old oven was 25 degrees cooler than it says. This new oven is 75 degrees hotter.

    Well best of luck on future graham cracker ventures!

  7. Vegyogini says:

    Oh no! I have a bag of graham flour that’s been sitting unopened. Thanks to you, I won’t be using it on this recipe. What a bummer; I really love Alton Brown.

  8. keeryah says:

    aww….i feel your pain. next time, they’ll turn out great, i’m sure. my fingers are crossed for you!

  9. Zoey says:

    When I first saw the picture, I thought you have made chocolate graham crackers and they looked pretty tasty. I hope you find a graham cracker recipe that you like better!

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