journaling

It probably comes as no surprise that I’ve been an obsessive journaler for most of my life. The tendency crept in in middle school and just stuck around for those tumultuous years following. Truth be told, my first real journal was not a book, it was my computer. I was trying to work some things out and thought it best I write it down, while simultaneously, I thought it was time I learned to type properly. Thus, my first journal was born in a word document (maybe it wasn’t word back then, but I forget to be honest). Subsequently I filled many composition books and spiral notebooks with the mundane details of my life and tons of teenage drama.

Then I found livejournal. Were you on livejournal? I feel like so many of us were. At first the concept of others reading my own personal thoughts didn’t occur to me, it was just like my computer journal, except stored secretly online. Over the years, connections were made and it became a way to vent as well as bond with others. I still had a paper journal, but the online one was something different, more careful and stylized and intentional. When an ex-boyfriend read one of my journals, livejournal became a safe place with its password protected private posts.

I guess now I’ve grown out of journaling. My life no longer has the drama worthy of writing about. Of course, there is this blog, which takes care of some of it. A fancy highlight version of life, with a few oblique references to internal struggles. That’s not to say I don’t sometimes miss journaling, but mostly I miss livejournal itself, the endless melodramatic posts and conversations they sometimes spurred. I do not, on the other hand, miss the times I wrote about, and am thus much happier to be without it.

My livejournal has since been deleted, fearing someone might find it and connect it to me. Before I disposed of it forever, I made a backup and years later, inspired by a friend, I finally decided to have it printed into a book so it would not be entirely lost.

It took a few hours to format everything into a printable version and then cost about $15 to have it printed. Now it can get stored away with the others serving no purpose at all, except that I have it. It’s not recommended reading. The bits I skimmed as I edited were so depressingly embarrassing they made me cringe. Reading things you wrote in college is not a good idea. That being said, I’m glad to have a physical copy even if it is only to be burned before my death or something along those lines.

The Source

One of my favorite films from SXSW this year was the documentary The Source. It recounts the rise and fall of the Los Angeles commune lead by Father Yod and of course, their Hollywood vegetarian restaurant. This film had such an impact on me, I think partially because of the outstanding archive of film and photos from the era used in the film, devotedly saved by Isis Aquarian, one of Father Yod’s 13 wives. These images were able to breath life into the stories told by the members of the Aquarian family. The film was also soundtracked by the music recorded by the family back in the 70’s, further transporting the viewer into their world.

The other thing that struck me about this film was that years later, many of the members still held Father Yod and their time with the Aquarian family in high esteem. Whereas we’re led to believe that so many communes of the time are horrible, brainwashing cults, The Source allows us to see beyond the stereotypes. Those who came to Father Yod and the The Source restaurant were looking for something, and for many of them, they found the spiritual practice they were seeking. That’s not to say that everything was perfect, which is clearly shown in the heartache of Father Yod’s first wife, as the laws of their life together change during the groups development.

I found this film utterly fascinating and was completely drawn into the story of each family member they spoke with. This was one of the films that sparked my thoughts in this post. It was captivating to see the evolution of the group from it’s humble beginnings to it’s dramatic end.

If you are in San Francisco, I highly recommend catching a screening of The Source at the San Francisco International Film Festival at the end of April. You can get tickets here. If not, keep your eye out for a screening near you.

sew modern

This past weekend I took some time to explore the adorable fabric shop Sew Modern. I spent forever just looking at all the different prints and great fabrics. The whole place has the most welcoming atmosphere and I could squander away hours there. They even had a handful of Colette Patterns and I spied some designs from Creative Thursday. Browsing through all the fabrics instilled an even greater desire to focus on some sewing projects and really bite the bullet on quilting. So I’m working on a plan for this epic quilt and will be back to get pretty fabrics soon.

Movies I want to live in

There are a few films that strike me on some level beyond just getting wrapped up in the story. Sometimes, films capture a time period with such cinematic beauty that I wish I could time travel to these fictional lands and spend the day there. Or longer, perhaps forever. Often, I’d like to leave the drama behind and just soak up the atmosphere and wardrobe, even though I know it is the story that makes these places so believable. So let’s journey for a moment into a few of the films I wouldn’t mind living in.

Picnic at Hanging Rock

What I wouldn’t give to spend the day at Appleyard College for girls. It might be strict but I’m head over heels for all the beautiful Victorian decor. So much lace and ruffles and flowers. I adore the layers upon layers of detailed decoration, from the elaborate wallpaper to myriad of photos displayed in every room. The girlish romance tied with the worrisome darkness makes this film irresistible.

The Incredibles

The Parr family, aka the Incredibles, have the best furniture. That’s the long and short of it. I love how the film created such an on point mid century style for their home even though the story itself is timeless. Of course, while the interiors are extreme, Edna’s house on the hill has an utterly classic modern style. I guess you can have whatever you want in the world if you’re animated.

Days of Heaven

There is almost too much I could say about Days of Heaven as it is such a stunningly cinematic film, and one I absolutely adore. The contrast of vast open fields with the remnants of turn of the century decor sets the scene for the characters’ dilemma. Yet it is the starkness of the landscape mixed with the few ornate details of luxury that make this setting so appealing to me. Or perhaps I just want to live in the magic hour.

There are so many more films I want to live in, so there will be another edition on the way for sure. Are there any films you want to live in?

sunlight

There was something refreshing about this weekend. While the sudden heat made my head ache for days, I feel like some weight was lifted from my shoulders. That this constant worry that sits in the nape of my neck, prodding at me, decided to go on vacation. I hope it stays away. Perhaps the sunlight will banish it.

We ate so much sugar this weekend. Oops. Donuts and ice cream and candy bars. We also spent a lot of time outdoors, and with family. My mother gave me beautiful flowers which I almost killed the same day (they are still alive, albeit brown on the edges). We actually went to see a current movie in the theaters (The Hunger Games, if you were wondering). We go out to the movies quite a lot, but usually to see re-releases and rare prints, not usually blockbusters, unless we’re on vacation. I explored an adorable local fabric store and I also got back my childhood chair which is on it’s way to being reupholstered (that is if I can steal it back from my cats who have already claimed it as their own).

These are all tiny things, normal everyday tidbits. Yet life felt right these past few days and I’m grateful.

Fun stuff coming up this week…movie stuff! That’s another thing, with all this TV watching I’ve been doing lately (Mad Men, Game of Thrones…) I’m happy to be watching more films instead as they awaken something else inside of me that television, even good television, just doesn’t.