Rinse. Repeat.

Wake up, make toast, make coffee, jump in the car. My most creative time is when I’m commuting; a known side effect of Los Angeles living. Always traveling somewhere. Driving to work I come up with elaborate plans, great concepts, new ideas. Save all this enthusiasm for later.

Arrive at work. Become engrossed in projects. Manage a million emails and reports. Forget everything else.

Drive home. Hope there’s no traffic. Pick the best lane. More ideas. Never as bright and shiny new as in the morning.

Get home. Think about what you want to do. Think about what you have to do. Do the dishes or take out the trash. Make dinner. Watch a movie. Try to span time.

All of a sudden you’re living in an Onion article.

Sometimes I accomplish things. Having deadlines helps, but more often than not there are no deadlines for personal projects. Some nights I come home and crash. I ask myself what is the life I want to live. If only there were more time.

It’s not about time. I’ve had more time. Without distraction, creativity and motivation seem to hover in the lower end of what I’m accustomed too. Everything takes longer. Plus, there’s no commute.

I’m at the age where some friends are getting to the places I want to be and other are giving up. I haven’t given up yet. I’m just getting started. It’s easy to get distracted. It’s easy to focus on the day to day instead of having a plan. It’s easy to think you aren’t good enough or that you haven’t tried hard enough.

Then you go to sleep and wake up and it’s a new day and you do it all over again.

Summer

Summer has rolled around and it signals a change of pace. The world is out looking for fun. I spent some time crafting this weekend with some lady friends. Made progress on a piece of knitting I’m working on, unplugged for the most part and gossiped just a little. We also went to a party with a bounce house and jumped until we were dizzy.

We also have a new foster cat. Her name is Mabel and she’s a darling black kitty. She wants nothing more than for someone to spend some time snuggling with her. If you’re interested in giving her a forever home please let me know.

I spent my Sunday with the Kitt Crusaders at one of their adoption events. Amazingly at least three darling cats got adopted while I was there. Of course there are still plenty more. Like these little kittens. I just wish more people cared as much as some of these people do. If everyone just did a little bit it would make a huge difference. By the way, you can donate to Kitt Crusaders, who is rescuing cats from one of the highest kill shelters in Los Angeles by donating here.

disney all night

Growing up I always heard about the infamous all night events at Disneyland, usually for grad night or other such celebrations. Being that I’ve always been a huge fan of Disneyland, even in my more rebellious days, it was always with a pang of regret that I was never able to go to such a thing. You get older and these special events pass you by. When we found out about Disneyland being open for 24 hours this past Friday there was no way we could resist.

Shawn, Jenn, Scott and I trekked out to Anaheim after work on Friday in the thick of holiday weekend traffic. We arrived with a few hours of daylight left, full of enthusiasm. The park was packed to the brim. I’ve been to Disney on busy days before but never have I seen anything like this. Wall to wall people, with cast members directing traffic down every pathway.

We contented ourselves with the rides with the shortest lines, often the ones for small children. Our spirits were high and even riding the Storybook Land Canal Boats was exciting.

There was a pajama party in Toon Town where a giant screen was set up playing classic cartoons. In California Adventure, they played Monsters Inc. on repeat. Hours passed and exhaustion set in but we stayed.

True to form, a section of California Adventure was closed off for actual grads. At 3:30 in the morning, we waited with the masses for it to reopen. When they removed the barriers, we ran full speed towards California Screaming, hoping to reach it before the line formed. It was exhilarating, embarrassing as that may sound.

As the sun started to rise, we queued up for Space Mountain and made it on just before the park closed.

As we exited the park, we were greeted with high fives from the staff for making it through the night.

And of course, the Disney characters in the pajamas.

Sometimes it’s easy to get wrapped up in all that being an adult entails. It may not be cool to hang out at a theme park, but I’m glad that I don’t care and can just have fun, even if it’s just for a night.

home

Ever since we moved into our current place I’ve been extremely happy with apartment living. I love the space we have and it comes without many of the worries and stresses of owning a house. Not that we could afford to own a house, let’s be serious here. That doesn’t stop me from dreaming though.

Recently the desire has been a bit compounded. After our shower was out of commission for three long weeks and replaced in a manner that I’m not entirely happy with I really started wishing I had a little bit more control over our living space. Then some less than pleasant interactions with some nearby neighbors left me wishing we had more private space. Or even just a little outdoor area at all.

I imagine we’ll be staying here for quite some time, and for the most part I’m content with that. I do often imagine living someplace entirely different. I always tease Shawn about the farm we’ll have one day (and by farm I mean a couple bunnies, some cats and a few goats just hanging out). I have yet to reconcile this fantasy living space with the fact that we’re city dwellers. Where can we go that has some nature and space but also retains some of the perks of urban life? Does such a place even exist?

I spent a few hours one night fake house hunting across the country. The truth is I really like a lot of the houses in Los Angeles, they’re just insanely expensive. There were a few other cities with options, but no real reason to go to any of them. So here we are.

blogging

A few weeks ago, or perhaps it was months now, a friend asked “How do you stay motivated to keep blogging?” and I thought to myself, It’s just something I love. Since then, it’s been getting harder for me to come here and write. I don’t have any photos to post or recipes to share.

There is a delicate balance between what I’m going to now deem the LIFE TRIANGLE, and yes, I just made this up. Here’s a diagram. In one corner you have RESPONSIBILITY. That’s things like: going to work, getting an oil change, doing the dishes. Stuff you have to do. In another corner you have SOCIAL / LEISURE. This could also be titled “mental health” but that’s not quite right. So here we have: going to a friend’s birthday party, going on a hike or maybe watching a movie. Then in the final corner you have CREATIVITY, which is pretty straight forward.

All of these things are related. For instance, if you were a graphic designer your creativity and responsibility would have a lot of overlap. Similarly, if you loved running, running a marathon might be somewhere between social/leisure and responsibility. It’s all fluid, it all interacts. There’s a whole other layer when you bring in the economics of these categories, but I’ll leave it at that for the sake of brevity.

My nature is to be generally closer than many to responsibility but lately it’s been a bit extreme. My leisure time has turned into a sort of nothing zone where I just switch my brain off and occasionally interact with friends. My creativity has suffered the most. I feel like a blank, not wanting to take photos or write something or make anything. I’m just overwhelmed.

At the same time, the ideas are still bouncing around in my head, just waiting for a moment to escape. As summer rolls around I think things will balance out. There are fun events in the future, projects are ending and I can feel the scales tipping. I can’t wait.