Ponderings on perfection
Dear friends, we’re in the home stretch for the wedding. Only 5 weeks remain until the big day. With everything so close upon us, I’ve become a bit introspective on the whole thing. So friends, settle in for maybe a bit more reading than usual in this post, but surely on topics beyond just a wedding.
Between Shawn and I, we know how to do a lot of things. We’re makers, so to speak. He knows tons about photography. I know about sewing and crafting and baking. We’re both planners. We know what it takes to get something done. So when entering the world of wedding planning, this knowledge, for me in particular, has often been something I’ve had to reconcile with, rather than being helpful.
How do you choose a photographer when you yourself take better photos than most of the “professionals” out there? How do you order a wedding cake when you bake a better vegan cake than you could buy? It’s tricky these questions, because obviously you can’t do everything.
Personally, I like to do things myself. I take issue with paying for something I’m capable of, unless I know someone will do it better than I will. Even more than that, I have a hard time letting others do things for me, even if I’m not paying, for fear it won’t be exactly what I want. Face it, I’m a little bit of a control freak. It is the downfall of knowing how to do things. You expect perfection.
The wedding process has been a lot about letting go for me. Letting go of control. It’s not easy. It’s against my personality. I think this is what happens with big life events though and I really feel it’s for the better. That’s not to say it hasn’t been a struggle.
It’s also, in my mind, been about merging my wishes and desires with Shawn’s. Even being in a committed relationship, two people are still somewhat separate in decision making. There is this strange place where you are not compromising on things but actually agreeing, and it’s odd but wonderful. This is the first task where we’ve had to really agree on everything. I think we had a similar experience when making Brainwashed Love, but our differences worked to keep the movie on course.
I think if I designed the whole affair, it would be some sort of small soiree in the woods. (You should see this wedding, which I’m sure is the most fantastic wedding I’ve ever seen.) Instead our wedding is indoors, and will be fairly large (by my standards anyway). I’m happy about this too. Our secret location is really the coolest and I’m excited that we’ll get to celebrate with so many people that love us. I’m glad we’ll be bringing our families together from across the country.
Most of these thoughts have come up for me since I now have my finished dress. The truth is, that there are a few little things that bother me about it. I can’t quite figure out if I’m just being obsessive or if it is a real flaw. Am I aiming for perfection when it’s just a dress? Is it something I can fix or should I just leave it alone?
There is still so much to do and I have a number of tasks that I’m responsible for, but I’m leaving a few major things in the hands of others. I’m trying to let things happen how they will. I haven’t thought about flowers or decorations or much of that sort of thing at all, nor will I unless someone asks me. I’m hoping all the things I’m not taking care of work out, as they should, without me managing every detail. And say they shouldn’t, I’m trying to prepare myself to be ok with this.
I’m not trying to ignore the details or not worry about the whole event, instead I’m just trying to face the reality of it all.
*a note about the photos. these are from a trip shawn and i took to pennsylvania in 2008. they make me happy as the woods do. they are a reminder of calmness for me. and the owl’s name is morris.
Snow Day
You may recall, last week I was fantasizing about having a snowy adventure. Well, despite living in Los Angeles, we made it happen. We drove up to nearby Mt. Baldy to go play in the snow for the day.
The crew threw on all their warm gear, loaded up in our cars and drove up the mountain…to snow!
Even though I read the weather before hand, it still seems so unbelievable that there could be snow so close to where we live. It wasn’t until we were nearly at the top of the mountain that things became dusted and then covered in white.
We took the scenic ski lift all the way to the top. I have to admit, it did make me a little nervous.
This was right before Shawn realized I didn’t have a strap on my camera (right after I leaned over the side with it in my hands to take a photo of a squirrel).
At the top, we were above the clouds. They turned into a sea of white.
It was so much fun. It made me want to rent a cabin, snuggle up by a fire at night and build snowman in the day. I want to go sledding.
I’m so happy we were able to make the trip, even though it was brief, as it really made it feel like real winter.
Snowy dreams
I’ve been dreaming of snow. It’s been extra cold here in Southern California these past few weeks, but we don’t have that same winter feeling of snowy places. It was actually cold enough here to snow in areas not far from Los Angeles.
I looked back on our road trip last winter. Here are a few shots in snowy wonderland.
Look at this sweet bearded man. Beards are good for cold weather.
I’m hoping we’ll get to drive somewhere and see a bit of snow before it’s gone. Maybe I’m also just dreaming about anywhere else but Los Angeles as is often the case.
I can’t wait to go on another big adventure.
2010 Year in review
I’m so very happy that it’s 2011. There are so many wonderful things to come this year.
I thought it would be nice to take a look back at some of the highlights of the past year over here at Cute and Delicious.
In January I made lots of cupcakes for some bake sales, including the Homemade for Haiti fundraiser.
In February, I did lots of crafts, including reworking our book case, knitting a heart for Shawn and making coffee cozies.
In March, we celebrated St. Patrick’s day with holiday foods and I veganized my mom’s fudge recipe.
In April, I experimented with different recipes including vegan crumpets and raw sauerkraut. I also made some pies!
May was quiet, but we visited the amazing Rose Bowl Flea Market (and I made the best cherry pie, I’ve ever eaten).
In June, we went to Portland and got engaged. Biggest, best surprise of my life.
I highly suggest you read Shawn’s recap of the day as it is sweet and wonderful.
In July, I raved about Portland more and made a lot of waffles.
In August, I cooked with figs and made Star Wars cookies.
In September, I made Thank You cakes for friends and we took romantic photos in Griffith Park.
October was a busy month. We had the first screening of Brainwashed Love. We introduced our families at our engagement party. I also made lots of Halloween treats including a spiderweb cake.
November was also packed to brim with food and fun. I made savory things like tofu benedict, green bean casserole, carrot souffle and hot pockets. We celebrated with a birthday cake party and Harry Potter cupcakes. On the sweet side, I made a peanut butter coconut cream pie and Dia de los Muertos cookies. We also made our save the dates with vintage postcards and photos. That’s not even the half of it! Busy month to say the least.
In December, I made many many cookies from Martha Stewart’s recipes, except vegan of course. The most exciting was seeing what my wedding dress is going to look like and sharing a few details with you.
It was a crazy wonderful year. I think I did pretty good on my last minute year end to do list. Can’t wait to share everything with you all in the new year.
Winter vacation
Well it’s the one fabulous week of vacation Shawn and I have off together. We spent Christmas at my brother’s house with his family in Las Vegas. Though we were only there for a brief time, it was really relaxing and nice. I’m feeling very fortunate this Christmas. We made cookies, danced around like idiots playing Just Dance 2
One of the highlights was going hiking in Red Rock Canyon. Since it has been raining heavily there, there was a beautiful waterfall.
This is Wrigley, my brother’s dog. She’s so sweet and absolutely adorable. They adopted her in New York about 9 years ago.
My nephew, Dylan, particularly enjoyed running under the waterfall and jumping over streams.
Alas, I wish our vacation was pure vacation. Instead, I’ll be working on a ton of wedding projects. I can’t believe how soon till we get married. I can’t wait.
So, I now bring you my monster vacation list of things to finish by the end of the year.
(See I was just bribing you with Shawn’s lovely photos. You can see some more of our holiday photos that Shawn took if you like.)
Alix’s (mostly wedding) to do list
- Finish and mail out our invitations – This project is ending up taking quite a bit more time than I anticipated.
- Work on our guest favors – I’m hand making each one, but can’t quite share what they are yet.
- Figure out a hotel for our guests – Apparently our wedding weekend is a busy one and everywhere seems to be booked.
- Finalize our catering – Yep, our wedding is less than 2 months away and we don’t have this settled yet. Yikes!
- Plan our honeymoon – We have picked a place and booked flights, but need to figure out the details like hotels…
- Finally take our engagement photos
- Order our wedding bands
- Find someone to officiate our wedding
- Do some blog housekeeping – just a few nips and tucks here and there for the new year
So there we have it. Can’t wait to start crossing things off. I’m really hoping to have the invites done tomorrow but it’s looking a bit unlikely. Then we’ll be taking our photos on Thursday, which will be much more fun than anything else. We’ve also gotten a lot done…so I’ll share some of that, so everything isn’t so daunting.
Really awesome wedding stuff we’ve accomplished recently
- I got my shoes delivered yesterday. I love them. All thanks to you lovely readers, Jo in particular, who showed them to me.
- Shawn ordered his outfit. It’s really cool and his groomsmen are going to look great too.
- We’ve booked a photographer. This was a really hard choice and things ended up working out in an amazing way.
- I should have my dress by next week!
- We figured out a really cool plan for our rehearsal dinner which will be fun, low key and really let us spend time with our guests.
After making these lists, I’m feeling pretty good. I know there are a lot of other things I haven’t listed to be done (like a cake…), but I’m not going to worry about those right now. I should really get back to work as I have a lot of cutting and gluing to do with those lovely invites.
